For it isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Do happy people always have positive thoughts? Well, if they didn’t have, then they won’t be happy in the first place.
Is it possible to always be happy? Yes, it is. But it isn’t easy to always stay happy.
Three years ago, positive thinking wasn’t exactly what I would call my hobby. I liked to face facts and never really saw the need for being positive.
The result? I always carried a frown on my face which in turn made me less happy.
There were many things I didn’t like about my life. I was unhappy because I felt and believed that I wasn’t rich. I lacked self confidence and so found it hard to voice out my opinions. It was so bad that I couldn’t even talk to ladies because I felt I wasn’t good enough; that I didn’t deserve to be happy.
It wasn’t easy getting out of that “unhappiness trap”. I discovered the power of positive thinking and so I tried to implement it.
But it just didn’t work!
That’s when I discovered that the only way I could be happy with myself and my life wasn’t by thinking positively.
I had to believe that I was happy!
The key to stop feeling negative about your life isn’t thinking positive about it. You have to believe that your life is what you want it to be- which in this case is happy. Just in case you’re wondering, “how do I do that?” Here are 5 tips on how to be happier in life:
1. Change Your Beliefs to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts don’t operate alone. They have an ally- something that gives them the confidence to attack you. That ally is your beliefs. No matter how hard you may try to change those negative thoughts into positive ones, if your beliefs are negative, being positive might be hard.
If you believe that your house would be robbed one day, no matter how much you say, “my house is free from burglars”, you’ll always be scared to death whenever you hear your window creak. And you definitely can’t be a happy person, knowing that you could be robbed at anytime.
If everyone around you has a common negative belief about something, let yours be different. You don’t have to shout it out loud so that everyone will hear it (I wouldn’t advise you to do that)
. But know it, deep down in your heart.
2. Ignore Your Beliefs to Clear Your Mind
Changing your beliefs can be hard, especially when you grew up having that belief. The statement, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is sometimes true. The beliefs we’ve had from our childhood are always carried onto adulthood, with or without our knowledge.
So, instead of trying to change those hard core beliefs, simply ignore them. In other words, don’t believe everything you think.
The result? You’ll obviously clear your mind. Once you stop acknowledging those negative beliefs, you automatically ignore the negative thoughts clawing at your mind. Once that happens, it’ll feel as if you’re in a state of Zen or of Hakuna Matata (no worries).
This is the best time to take advantage and bombard your mind with self convincing positive talk.
3. Take a Risk to Boost Your Self Confidence
Sometimes, negative self talk is as a result of low self esteem. For some crazy reason, you just don’t believe that you’re capable of doing something. What do you do?
The answer is to simply act against your beliefs. It is possible to believe one thing but act contrary to that belief. In other words, dare your belief.
The first time I talked to a lady intimately (guys, you know what I mean), I was shunned. But instead of sulking, I smiled. I was happy I tried it, even though my mind told me otherwise. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.
If you’re in a school environment and believe that a particular course which you need to do is just too hard to pass, take that course. Even though you don’t pass it, you’ll be happy you did it. The same thing applies to every other negative belief you have about anything.
However, this rule has exceptions. For example, don’t go and put your hands in a dog’s mouth, believing it won’t bite you, because it will!
4. Stay around Happy People to Attract Happiness into Your Life
I’m a really quiet person. But I always find myself having friends that “vibrate” a lot- they’re never in one place. They’re either laughing, jumping, teasing or getting on your nerves. I guess that over time, their positive karma kind of rubbed off on me.
You get influenced by what and who you surround yourself with. Try putting ice block into hot water. You know what’ll happen.
If you find that your “unhappiness” is probably due to the unhappy friends you have, then you should find other friends. I’m not saying dump them but try to restructure your relationship. Find happy people with whom you can get along with well. Let their happiness rub off on you and then spread the love to your other friends who need a dose of happiness.
5. Make up Your Mind to Become and Stay a Happy Person
No matter how negative those thoughts are, they still respect your opinion. Why? Because they are just thoughts! Thoughts only influence your actions; they don’t force you to take a particular action.
When negative thoughts enter your mind, they don’t force you to be sober. A negative thought simply opens up your eyes to see the negative side of your life. That’s when you become sober. But what if you make up your mind to always see the positive side? You’ll continue to reduce the grip those thoughts have on you, until they’re almost non-existent. That’s the power of decision making.
Before you read the next sentence, make up your mind to start seeing yourself as an over-comer and not a loser. If you don’t make up your mind to become and stay happy, then you’ll probably start to carry a frown on your face, like I used to. You’ll fight everyone and blame everyone else for your unhappiness.
These principles aren’t hard. In fact, they’re so simple that you can start implementing them right now. The results won’t be immediate, but you’ll see yourself evolving into the kind of person that other negative and unhappy people would want to be like. Your actions and happy outlook would be enough encouragement for others. That is what happy people do!
Are you consistently trying to become a happy person or are your thoughts stopping you? Share your insights by commenting bellow or by posting your comments on the goodvillenews Facebook Page
This article was written by Lanre Solarin. Lanre is a self help blogger and the author of Mind Fu- a free ebook with practical steps to getting rid of negative thoughts using Martial art techniques. To find out more about Lanre visit www.deep-think.org